Tuesday, January 13, 2004
'whats this? a knife in my heart?..oh my'
Tunes: Rufio "star struck"
Mood: just dandy
Day: alright.
hola chiklens!
so im really really hapy about Matts party this weekend...i dont kno why. Hope all goes well.
I got to be the 'helper' in class today, so i went to the office to make like 225 copies of our classwork, and it took 40 mintues, and my teacher was pissed off, but thats okay cause when i got back we had 10 mintues of class left. bwahaha! Perdue kept pushing my bookbag over my head, it was funny the FIRST time. Lindsey and I sat alone once again in the lunch room. haha, we are such losers.
Thank you everone who called and sang to me, Perdue, Rob, Wilkes, and Matt!! you guys are the only lovers i have.
Perdue sang the Titanic theme song to me, it was beautiful
_emilyyyyy
Posted at 08:03 pm by Emmalee
Monday, January 12, 2004
'i want someone to sing me songs'
I sit here and listen to sad songs, and think about what my life could be if i didn’t screw up so much. Finally I find something or someone I like and I already screw it up, I’m sorry. Sometimes I cant take this anymore, I’m longing to have someone to call mine. I need someone to call mine. But I don’t think ill ever get it. I’ve spent so much time crying my heart out, and thinking about everything and how it should go, then when nothing works out, I get in this really sad mood which last for a long time, and I don’t want that no more. This is the only thing that keeps me sane, my journal and my music. I couldn’t live without those 2 things. Sometimes I think I could drop off this earth and no one would care. There’s no way I have this many tears, I thought I cried them all out last time.
-This all doesn’t contain to you, it’s just my past
Posted at 07:19 pm by Emmalee
tunes: Thursday "Paris in flames"
mood: better then usual
day: long
Im excited for Matt's on saturday, i cant wait. My dad called today and wants to go to the beach this weekend, but FOCK that, im going to see my Jesse. haha. hmm many thoughts
I think Dave is going with me to Matts, i sure hope so, he needs to get out some, poor kid.
I look back on all those other GEY entries ive wrote, and i seem so sad, ever sence i met Jesse im always happy, good thing. remeber-not alot of people or things make me happy. cough cough
tee hee
<3 Emily.
i love each and every single one of you
Posted at 05:41 pm by Emmalee
Sunday, January 11, 2004
'love is just a role that we play'
Tunes: Sublime "what i got"
Mood: sad
day: shitty
today i felt sad, and ugly. hmm. maybe i should get used to it.
'is there anything
worth looking for
worth loving for
worth lying for...'
^Dashboard
Sometimes I just dont think there is
Kill me quick.
Saturday-good day...prehaps
Posted at 08:44 pm by Emmalee
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Tunes: Senses Fail "dreaming a reality".....and Phil Collins
Mood: great!!!!
Day: wonderful
Lindsey Lee is herrr, and shes making fun of me because I have Phil Collins download, well FUCK YOU LINDSEY Phil Collins rocks my cock..and fanny pack. ya herddd. well tonight Lindsey came over and then we went to Alexas and helped JR, Jamie, and Jeff make some weird movie, no not porn, too bad huh? i was dissapointed....well its was okay fun, then we left and went to Jamie’s and got Jeff's car, and JR ran over a cement block. dumbass. Then we went to sonic and made mad love, thats right kids, MAD LOVE. thats bout it chaps. and drove through lake park
how bout them panthers?
I missed Jesse today, all day :(
Mucho Love kiddie-Poos, and chic-a-boo's
Posted at 11:18 pm by Emmalee
Friday, January 09, 2004
'sometimes i set myself up for the greatest falls'
tunes: Hod Rod Circuit "Misled"
mood: bored..very bored
day: good till 3rd block
it shnowed today!!! how lame is it we didnt get out of school? union county school systems suck ass. anyways, my friday night sucked. Lindsey and I are going to be single until we are 30. go us. and i have nothing else to share with you all.
mucho love.
Posted at 09:20 pm by Emmalee
Thursday, January 08, 2004
tunes: Matchbook Romance
mood: blah, if thats a mood
day: bad, until i got home
I seem to have nothing to write about, normally i write about how sad, or mad i am. But seems as if things are looking a bit better these days. I dont want to be sad anymore, but its what im used to. I think i just need someone.
No names, of course
but I dont know if its possible to like someone with only seeing them 3 times, and getting to know them for only 2 days but i think thats what is happening to me. Ive never met someone like *him*-dont think i ever will- its odd. Maybe i need to disscuss this with *him* but im scared, haha
I feel like i cant let this go right by.
^ You know who you are.
Posted at 06:28 pm by Emmalee
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
'we wont stand for hazy eyes anymore'
also i look back on my 'some things just never change' entry i wrote on yesterday, man i was some kinda mad last night. Sorry if i offended anyone, it wasn’t meant to hurt you. My apologizies. But i just like i never get through to you unless i seem mad or sad, then u care. and thats wrong so sometimes i just write things that seem hateful, only cause i want u to notice me. I kno that sounds so selfish or like i want attition, but its not meant like that. I only wanted attition from YOU. and now that i got it, i dont know what to do with it....sorry is all i have to say.
Jesse makes me happy. not alot of things make me happy. THUMBS UP to Jesse !!
Posted at 05:49 pm by Emmalee
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
'some things just never change'
yeah alright, so last night I stayed up late thinking of all the things I absolutely hate about people. I would list them, but i would have allot of people mad at me, and plus i cant remember them. So heres a few.
-Friends who seem to forget about you over time.
-People who hate u just for the hell of it
-a SOMEONE who claims to like me, but doesn’t
-constant liars
-friends that forget about u, cause they found someone else.
-People who rub things in your face
-stoners
-stoners, who deny they do it.
I also thought of how I treated people in the past. But then I thought, this is what they deserve, hell look what I’ve been through. Needless to say, I’ve been treated like shit all my life, I mean I gain a friend, and then lose one. I’m hated my by Mom but of course everything’s ALWAYS okay, isn’t it? everyone I meet or begin to like thinks I’m weird and doesn’t like me. Then I spend a hella long time trying to get through to the one guy I like allot. And I’m getting nowhere, no matter how hard I try or how many journal entries I write about him. Its always the same, nothing ever changes. I’m sick of it, why cant I just move away and start a whole new life with new people. I wish it were that simple, but of course its not. Nothing comes easy in life, at least not for me.
”Seems theres never a place for me to be, to be happy.... some things just never change”
Damnit I hate this. Make this pain go away.
_Emily_
Posted at 07:09 pm by Emmalee
Sunday, January 04, 2004
'this is the best day I can ever remember'
Saturday, good good night. Spent it with the person who means most to me.
SO Christine came over Saturday afternoon, and we hung out. Then we went and picked up Perdue, and went to McDonalds. Perdue got a McDonalds bag and put over her head, and ran around. it was terribly funny. Then we picked up Wilkes and Rob, we all managed to fit in the 'Happy Wagon' (my dads ghetto truck). Perdue Christine and I made Wilkes and Rob think we were totally and completely insane. Highly understandable. They thought there was a cat in the Happy Wagon. haha. Then we all went to the ACS show, where we met up with Lindsey, Sydney, Morgan, Ryan, and Bryce. It was a good show, I guess. I was very pleased with Skapegoat's performance. Anyways, i had a good time. Wilkes liked his Dashboard cd i got him for Christmas, we listened to "hands down" Wilkes and i were the only ones actually enjoying it. Oh well. I really love that song the lyrics are great. I think i would love someone if they played that for me on guitar. uhm hint hint (haha). We dropped Rob and Wilkes off and then we went to IHOP, where Perdue and i hit on 10 year olds. I swear one was obese, poor kid. Needless to say, Perdue has one hot date Saturday night. It was a great night. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time, and i was happy to spend it with the best people ever. :)
Posted at 08:21 pm by Emmalee
